“I bet everyone thinks I’m a fashion designer,” said the horse wearing a Victorian dress and carrying a parasol as he walked through the fancy department store.

Don’t like your outfit? Make a new one out of cheese.

Do you get jealous when your boyfriend or girlfriend talks with someone good looking? Don’t feel too bad, the same thing happens to unicorns.

What’s cuter than an adorable giggling baby. A lamprey wearing a bonnet.

Want a job promotion? Offer to play soothing background music on your trombone at the next management meeting. It also helps to wink at the ladies a lot while you’re playing.

Several people in the office seemed to always be getting into arguments about the temperature the thermostat was set at. The issue was thoughtfully resolved by giving each person their own personal cactus to sit on.

Three boys walk into an ice cream shop with their parents. The first boy says, “I want vanilla.” The second boy says, “I want chocolate.” The third boy says, “My high heels are killing me.”

Why was the doctor so worried when he was talking to the patient? He couldn’t remember what he was supposed to pick up at the supermarket on the way home.

What’s worse than being attacked by a shark? A tight perm. Even worse: Being attacked by a shark with a tight perm.

Why was the teenager so upset? He had just discovered the secret to time travel and lost his notes on how to do it. Also, his mom was getting on his case about picking up his room.

There are three things you can do to make sure you have an effective workout: Warm up well, focus on both strength and cardiovascular exercises, and take a nice relaxing nap.

The medical students were intently watching the renowned surgeon perform an incredibly difficult modern dance routine.

Why was everyone so upset in the office? One word: Fred’s exotic cheese sandwich.

A guy walks into an electronics store and a TV falls on his hand. He’s very excited because his new pancake hand enables him to swim faster.

Rupert was a fabulous hair stylist but his clients became somewhat concerned when he introduced his, “Let me cut your hair with eels,” technique.