The king summoned the wizard to help ward off a plague that was ravaging the entire country. The wizard uttered some mysterious words, waved his wand dramatically, and started doing a Hawaiian dance which pretty much didn’t help anything.

Why were the banking executives so angry at their monthly meeting? Someone was being extremely disrespectful by not wearing a suit. Also, Mark from Accounts was eating one of his sardine sandwiches again.

What’s worse than someone screaming really loudly in your ear for an hour? A skunk trying to harass you as you walk through a beautiful forest.

Kylie and Tyler had been dating for quite a while and their relationship was going very well. One fine evening, they were halfway through dessert at an expensive restaurant when Tyler looked at Kylie, smiled warmly, got down on one knee, and presented her with the check.

A guy walks into a bar with a sewing machine on his head. Someone asks him, “What’s with the sewing machine?” He answers, “It’s not just a sewing machine, it’s a reminder of a better time years ago when I had a wonderful career as a tailor.” Everyone is saddened by his story. He goes to sit down and the sewing machine drops on his foot causing him considerable discomfort.

What’s worse than having a mechanic charge you too much for a car repair? My aunt Donna trying to hit on guys at a wedding.

Two guys get in a fight in a crowded nightclub, causing everyone to run for the exits. Read more stories like this in my upcoming book: Fiona’s Fabulous Ferrets.