What did the lobster say to the shrimp? I’m on a roll. What did the shrimp say back? I think I have a gambling problem.
I think my pants are too tight, maybe they’re my little brother’s. Actually, I just realized they’re a shirt.
A Tyrannosaurus Rex is mysteriously transported into a modern city. He has an especially difficult time figuring out crosswalk signals.
Great pick-up line: Hey, my gingivitis is fairly advanced.
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a doctor? One has a beautiful cat named Sir Lancelot.
I was trying to wallpaper my apartment and then realized I was at a friend’s house. When he got home we had a good laugh and then began dancing a beautiful waltz.
Two women are having a lively conversation in a hair salon. Suddenly, one of the women starts crying uncontrollably. You know what happens next: A dragon flies into the salon and asks for a tight perm.