My favorite things about scuba diving are: Being able to see all the amazing sea life, feeling like I’m in another world, and eating sandwiches underwater.
Little-known historical facts: In the court of Louis XIV, it was not unusual for gentlemen to challenge each other to a duel, most often involving hurling insults and giving each other dirty looks. “What’s so special about that?” said the mean teenage girl.
Paul had a splitting headache, so he took a few aspirins. Several hours later, still in pain, he looked in the mirror and noticed the woodpecker hammering at his head.
Kelly was on a date at a nice restaurant with a handsome guy. He kept looking at an empty chair at their table, so she asked him why he was staring at it. He said, “No reason,” and Kelly excused herself to go to the restroom. When she got back to the table, you guessed it, her date was making out with the chair.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Lobster. Lobster who? Your ex-wife, the lobster. I don’t have an ex-wife. Oh, my mistake, wrong apartment. You are a very cute lobster. Thank you, I went to the beauty salon this morning.
What’s more adorable than someone making a cute face? My uncle getting in an argument with a goat at the petting zoo.
Nobody could figure out why Trevor was still single. He was personable, financially stable, and had decorated his office to look like a spaceship.