I have so many fond memories of high school; like that wonderful day when I had the flu and stayed home. Good times.
What is the most technologically advanced sports car in the world? Not the one my uncle made out of a shopping cart.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Neighbor. Neighbor who? The neighbor you hit with your car a few minutes ago. I’m sorry I don’t speak English. Yes you do, you just answered me in English. I’m having a stroke? No you’re not. (Awkward silence.)
Many people are really afraid of going to the dentist, and by dentist I mean werewolf.
Why do women love shoes so much? Because they have feet. Also acceptable: Fashion sense.
Foolproof pick-up line: Where have you been all my life, a cereal processing plant?
Tips to impress your boss: Be on time every day, show initiative, work hard and, of course, wear a cool science fiction outfit.