Great pick-up line: Where have you been all my life, an attic?
The rugged cowboy walked into his usual bar, drank several whiskeys, and then, as often happened, entertained everyone with a lovely medley of show tunes.
Why did the frat guy drink twenty beers? Because he likes beer and is an alcoholic. Also acceptable: Because it’s 11:00 AM on Tuesday.
Kyle was turning sixteen and wanted a car really badly, so he was really excited on his birthday when his parents walked him outside and showed him his amazing new birdbath.
I found out the hard way that wearing a suit of armor and going swimming don’t mix, no matter how nice the weather is and how calm the ocean looks.
Bill was so happy about the huge cucumbers he was growing in his garden until he was informed they weren’t cucumbers at all. That’s when he finally decided to attend a “How to Accurately Identify Fruits and Vegetables” class at the local community college. On the first day, he brought an apple to give to the teacher which, of course, turned out to be a cabbage.
The brave superhero flew toward the horrible monster that was attacking the city, stopped right in front of it, and asked it to dance. Editor’s note: To this day, they’re happily married with three kind of weird-looking children.