Kelly was on a date at a nice restaurant with a handsome guy. He kept looking at an empty chair at their table, so she asked him why he was staring at it. He said, “No reason,” and Kelly excused herself to go to the restroom. When she got back to the table, you guessed it, her date was making out with the chair.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Lobster. Lobster who? Your ex-wife, the lobster. I don’t have an ex-wife. Oh, my mistake, wrong apartment. You are a very cute lobster. Thank you, I went to the beauty salon this morning.
What’s more adorable than someone making a cute face? My uncle getting in an argument with a goat at the petting zoo.
Nobody could figure out why Trevor was still single. He was personable, financially stable, and had decorated his office to look like a spaceship.
The gallant medieval knight rode for days to visit his true love, the fair maiden Isabelle. He entered the castle, dismounted, and fell into a plant because he was quite drunk.
The Prime Minister of the Intergalactic Federation had just found out that the dreaded space squids were planning to conquer his battle-weary planet. He turned to his trusted advisors and said gravely, “I would like everyone to know that I seem to have misplaced my pants so, if you happen to see them, please kindly send them my way.”
Hot fashion tip: When wearing tight jeans, make sure you don’t ruin the look by stuffing things like a wrench or a trumpet in the back pockets.